Is It Supposed to Feel This Lonely?
Where the Noise Ends, Creation Begins
The journey you’re about to go on will be a lonely one.
I don’t say that to scare you or discourage you, but when you choose to walk the path toward your potential as a creative, it’s one you can’t take anyone with you on.
I assume anyone reading this is, one, a creative, and two, looking for any kind of sign that it’s time to break out of the mundane and start creating in the way you feel, deep in your soul, that you need to.
But I’m going to challenge you: why do you feel this pressure to create? What’s stopping you?
There are a thousand reasons you might be stuck. Maybe you’re too busy or tired. Maybe the ideas in your head feel so sacred that in this current season of life, you don’t feel worthy enough to bring them to life.
You’re in limbo. And limbo is lonely.
Why is it that creatives are always seen as outcasts, as lonesome people?
Why is there so much tragedy tied to the creative life?
Why do we wear these dark feelings as a badge of honor, as if suffering for your craft somehow makes you better than someone else?
I’ve never had a problem making friends, but that doesn’t mean I’m not lonely. In fact, at times when I’ve been the most popular, when my life looked the most full, I’ve felt the most alone.
And I want to change that.
But here’s the catch: when you decide to make a real change, when you start pursuing your hopes and dreams, it gets even lonelier.
Because you can’t take anyone on this journey.
And maybe that’s what stops us.
Think about it. We go through life doing everything alongside our peers — grade school, high school, college, jobs. It’s not always an even experience, but there’s comfort in knowing you’re moving through something together. Then there’s a moment when you realize it’s time to go your own way.
And when you make that decision, in my experience, it’s rarely celebrated.
There will be resistance. Distractions. Old habits.
Everything you can imagine will rise up to keep you anchored where you’ve always been.
At the beginning of this month, I started something I called the Create.Repeat Reset.
For 30 days, I gave up my vices (energy drinks, gummies, alcohol). I limited my screen time to work hours. I had one “no screens” day every week. I worked out six days a week. I drank only water. And I challenged myself to make something, just for me, every single day.
It sounded simple. But once I started, I realized how isolating it felt. There was no one checking in. No one cheering me on. No one even noticing if I succeeded or failed. It was just me, showing up for myself in the quiet. And that kind of loneliness can feel unbearable if you’re not ready for it.
I’m here to tell you: I failed.
I didn’t fail at giving up my vices, or working out, or limiting screen time.
I failed at the one thing I was most confident about going into this challenge: creating something for myself.
How ironic is that? I’ve made it my mission to inspire creatives and give them tools to keep going—and here I was, not walking the walk.
The first time I forgot to create something, I was too busy.
The second time, I was tired.
The third time, I was sad and gave up on that part of the challenge altogether.
No one else even knew.
There was no accountability partner, no deadline looming. Only me. And sometimes the hardest part about loneliness is realizing no one will save you from yourself.
I went the first three weeks holding my own, and then I didn’t finish what I set out to start. And this is crazy because I’ve done something like this before. And it’s not like I stopped creating completely, it’s my job, after all, but I lost the personal side of it.
My mind went blank. My insecurity crept in.
I’m realizing now that this challenge was about so much more than just sharpening my creative skills.
It forced me to slow down and deal with a lot of real stuff in my life. I’m not exaggerating when I say this was the most challenging month of my life. Family stuff. Work stuff. Health stuff. Friend stuff.
Just as I was ready to make a big change, my world fought back.
And the more I tried to grow, the more isolated I felt. It was like life wanted to test if I was serious—to see if I could stay committed without applause, without validation, without anyone even noticing.
So, where does that leave me?
Here are my five takeaways from the challenge:
First — my favorite part was the no-screens day.
I found myself looking forward to it every week. I read three books, reorganized my office, allowed myself to dream, nap, and go outside and enjoy the beauty of the world.
There’s something about unplugging from the noise that makes you realize how rarely we sit alone with ourselves anymore. And even though it felt lonely at first, it became something I craved.
I plan on continuing this moving forward.
I feel grounded, alert, and rested.
I couldn’t recommend it enough.
Second — social media is designed to give us a never-ending case of FOMO.
When you limit what you consume, you realize you don’t actually want (or need) half the things you think you need. I’m still navigating my relationship with the internet (especially since this is an internet-based company), but I’m starting to see it more as a tool rather than real life. Nothing is real online. Don’t forget that.
Third — maybe creating something every day isn’t the answer, but practicing a creative life is.
While I fell short of my original goal, my perspective shifted. Creativity isn’t about output. It’s not about the proof that you made something. It’s a way of being.
Maybe Rick Rubin was right…
Fourth — working out, drinking water, and getting outside is the best way to lift yourself out of a slump.
Turns out nature is good for us. Who knew? Also, I don’t miss my vices at all. The first two weeks were rough, especially giving up Celsius, but I feel so much better. I realized I was operating at a different frequency when I was high on caffeine. I wasn’t giving myself time to receive ideas. I was just manufacturing energy, and then manufacturing relaxation at night with gummies.
Now, instead of swinging from a 1 to a 10, I stay at a steady 6–8. And I love being there.
Fifth — chasing your calling, your purpose, your greatness — whatever you want to call it — is lonely.
But it’s a good kind of loneliness. It’s the kind that shows you you’re still alive. It’s the kind that reminds you you’re not living on autopilot anymore. I feel more true to myself now, and hopefully it will show in my work moving forward. I’m not “cured,” but my fear of failure and my need for validation has lessened. As a creative, that’s imperative.
You can keep playing the creator game—pumping out content and manipulating algorithms —but there’s so much more to creativity than that.
True expression is what we’re all craving. Every time I express myself through art, I feel better. I can’t recommend it enough.
We’ve posted this quote what feels like a thousand times, but here’s the thousand-and-first:
“The opposite of depression isn’t happiness. It’s expression.”
Embrace the loneliness.
It isn’t forever.
Keep creating and repeating,
- Zack
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This week’s advice…
We’re excited to highlight Cesca Centini, an artist and medical student from Milan, Italy, whose work is focused on bridging neuroscience and the arts.
In her writing, Cesca delves into why humans are wired for visual thinking and how the brain processes creativity. She blends scientific insights with artistic curiosity, drawing on cognitive science and neuroplasticity theories. Her creative advice: “Start messy. Start without structure. But start.” This advice resonates deeply with us at Create.Repeat.
Check out one of her favorite pieces:
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The Create.Repeat Substack is a project designed to be a weekly diary on creativity. Sharing inspiration for artists to keep creating and repeating.
Written and curated by Zack Evans & James Warren Taylor
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History repeats. Create the future.
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Beautiful! All the more power to you, Zack.
I really really really needed that at this moment in my life, thank you ❤️